Things to come

Consider this a note to myself...WRITE ABOUT THIS WEEK. Nevermind that orientation at Wake Forest has become something of a police sting operation, but people are still supporting Michael Vick! Interesting that these folks were first telling us to look at all the facts and let Vick be innocent until proven guilty. Whoops, guilty plea. Suddenly we are singing "We Shall Overcome" and saying that Vick has found God. Sorry folks, he betrayed you, your trust, your city, and your kids. Forgiveness is fine, but lets wait for him to truly atone before we decide he could one day be a saint. Equally as bad are the assholes at PETA. You can show up at a protest with a sign with a dog fighting victim (a dog) on it, but you seemingly forget about much more important issues. Talk about a bandwagon group....Hmmm, I am bored, need to feel better about myself, cant really affect major global issues, dont want to back human interest/ murder trials, might as well supoort animals, at least they dont ask for money. Animal Rights acitvists are the lowest form of activists. Remember when activism was meant to help humans (environmental, human rights, fundraising etc...). Now people want to hunt down Colnol Sanders, not murderers, dictators, and generally bad music artists. Other questions to ask....why is the USA basketball team winning (I doubt Coach K), was Beckham overplayed, will the Yankees make the playoffs. Less relevent than the Vick case...No, such is sports. Less relative than the worries of the rest of the world issues...Yes...such is priority. SO while i fall into the category of animal rights activists, calling for parity, meaningfulness etc... within sports may be equally shallow as animal rights followers. However, always the hypocrite, I am sure that these subjects are imprtant to me, and I will continue to write about them.

Pat Forde

It is extremely easy to state that someone is "one of the good guys" in his or her profession. You may not even know them, but a smile on television or a well placed handshake can quickly elevate a coach from "just on of the guys", to a standout amongst their peers. Let me tell you flat out...Pat Forde is "one of the good guys". In a writing business where its hard to speak with the editor of some college papers, I was surprised and excited to receive a response e-mail to a brief letter I wrote to Pat. Like most young writers, whether serious or casual, I asked for advice on entering/thriving/surviving in a profession that I knew little or nothing about (basically what I saw in a trailer for "The Devil Wears Prada", apparently its about a journalist). Instead of a glorified pat on the back, which is only slightly more valuable than no reply at all, Pat gave a me a straightforward, no frills response. Actual advice from an actual writer. This was no handshake or feigned smile, but a statement of truth about the difficulties of becoming a professional writer. Even though the advice itself was "boiler plate" as a small disclaimer stated, the beginning of the letter still took time to address me, wish my Demon Deacons luck, and say hello to a mutual friend. On a larger scale, it is easy to estimate that any number of people such as myself have written similar letters and received very similar responses. Coming from a busy journalist at ESPN, one can see the value of the advice contained within, and no I am not talking about a bluprint for similar success. So if I sound cliche please forgive me, but Pat Forde (a "homie" from Louisville) is one of the good guys, and a really good writer too...check out the link.

Not so Sweet Lou...

Last year when Lee Corso stated that Wake Forest had ZERO chance of competing with Louisville in the Orange Bowl, I had a massive brain aneurism. Watching a former U of L coach trash what was perhaps one of the better stories of the 2006-2007 College Football Season was painful on so many levels. The words "biased", "short-sighted", and "codger" all came to mind. As if he was riding the Jim Rome train to meaningless ville, Corso single handedly made me hate him for about 2 weeks, but all was forgotten at the end of the season, as I looked forward to playing a new NCAA Footbal game and gladly taking some of Corso's pointers. Corso is like my crazy grandmother...sure she has some lapses of judgment, but at the end of the day I will always love her and the quirky way she battles what seems to be dementia.

However, if Corso is the lovable old grandparent of ESPN football coverage, Lou Holtz is the abusive alcoholic grandparent on the other side of the family. He shows up every now again to regale you with stories of the "good ol' days", which serve as reminder of A.) How batshit crazy he really is and B.) How the "good ol' days" were probably not that good at all. Just today on an ESPN feature on their analyst's preseason Top Ten, Holtz staunchly repeated his usual favoritist pick of Notre Dame. Mark May visually strangled his note pages and I think Rece Davis threw up off screen. I can only imagine Holtz' picks for the BCS, thank God Notre Dame can't play itself in every game. Im not sure if Holtz is aware of the fact that an all Notre Dame BCS is not possible. I am also not sure if he knows what year it is, but I am certain that ESPN is aware that the preseason USA Today poll has the Irish outside of the top 25 (29th in votes). Despite this awareness, College Gameday has continued to bring Lou Holtz along for the ride, watching him wear Notre Dame apparel on television, pick the Irish in every matchup, including a recent exhibition against God, and simply stick out his lip and pout when asked why Notre Dame lost. This is not informed TV journalism, this is senility.

The fact is that Lou Holtz, having won the school's last consensus National Title in 1988, is another relic of Notre Dame's storied past. Gone are the days of Irish dominance, and all we are left with is almost a decade of futility (9 consecutive bowl losses). Notre Dame still has a neverending TV contract, and will continue to turn profits from what arguably is "America's College Team". However, the Lou Holtz era of television needs to end. I don't argue that Lou is not a good man, in fact I respect him for the longevity of his career, but as a broadcaster he is the worst possible personality: an old, stubborn, fan. He will encourage hold outs such as Brady Quinn's despite the QB's meltdown in his senior season, as well as ill advised bowl berths such as last years Sugar Bowl 41-14 thumping the claws of the LSU tigers, simply because he was, and maybe still is, one of the faces of Notre Dame Football. So as Lou gears up pick Notre Dame to win this years BCS title, write motivational books and threaten Charlie Weis, I look forward to a season where I will see as little of Lou as possible.

A Daly Affair

Welcome to Southern Hills day 2. Apparently the rough has been very “penal”, but not to my old friend John Daly. Cue the shots of a thinner, mullet bearing Daly, hoisting the PGA trophy in 1991. The sweltering heat seemed to have little effect on the big man, as he cruised to a 3 under 67 fueled only by Diet Coke and cigarettes. “Caffeine plus nicotine equals protein” mused Daly in words that draw comparisons to the Classical Philosophers. Upon visiting his website (Johndaly.com) I am welcomed to the Lion’s Den, my excitement is tangible. Papa Lion is one back with a 3:05 tee time…excuse me while I go shotgun ten beers in the parking lot.

2:50- I am Tiger Woods. Fresh off his Who’s Now victory, Tiger is four back as he starts day 2. There are few times when I ask for a higher power to intervene, however, I am officially asking that John “the Lion” Daly faces of against Tiger in a playoff. Can you imagine John Daly wheezing his way down the fairway with a cig in his mouth or asking Tiger for a light after putting for birdie? This needs to happen immediately.

2:58- The Lion approaches the tee box as Erne Johnson and Bob Clampett await what could be a “wild ride”. You get the feeling they are slightly uneasy about following his round, perhaps it's the drunken Tulsan’s following his every step.

3:02- John Daly has already visited a casino as well as played a practice round (his only one) in shorts and a t-shirt.

3:06- Clampett foreshadows my dream matchup saying that we are about to see the control of Tiger Woods vs. the reckless abandon of John Daly. Cue John Daly taking out the driver on 10, the only player doing so.

3:11- Didn’t make the green but almost caught the cart path. Ernie Johnson can’t stop giggling. He’s like a kid seeing his first Playboy. John Daly has obviously seen many Playboys.

3:17- More controlled precision from Tiger, more recklessness for Daly. Strange thing is they may both make par on their respective holes.

3:18- Nope, Daly misses a par putt, doing just what Bob Clampett feared. At least “Fairway” Fehrety is now giving on course commentary.

3:24- Daly has found the sand on 11, prompting Fehrety to give an “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH dear.” The faith in the Lion is fading.

3:30- Bogey/Bogey. Ouch.

3:47- First shot of Daly in 20 minutes and it's a good one. Monster drive, followed by a great approach. Nice looking birdie opportunity. But we will settle for par. I really don't think he lines up his shots…but such is reckless abandon.

3:53- How in the hell does TNT keep coming up with the #1 cable series. They seemingly take out of prime actors, insert them in situation you wouldn’t expect and then keep running with it while America can’t seem to get enough. My biggest fear is that Helen Hunt and Jodie Foster are on this track. I will never watch early round coverage again if this is the case.

4:01- 1-800-PETMEDS seems reckless and irresponsible (much like Daly). “Hi this is (insert little old lady name) I need a metric ton of dog tranquilizers.” How do you screen these old people for what meds their pets actually need? Not to mention the off chance that the elderly, bless em, may mix the pet meds with people meds. I await the lawsuit.

4:05- Tiger is like Jack montage…blah blah blah. Lets look a Daly’s major wins. 1991 PGA, and 1995 British. Quality over quantity. Deal with that Tiger.

4:10- Why are we avoiding Daly. Tiger is struggling on his hole, while Daly just put in within 5 ft from the 17th fairway. Interestingly enough, he was on the 13th hole. Missed the birdie try, but that is a great effort.

4:20- Daly at a par three is like Joey Chestnut at a small hot dog stand. There just isn’t enough.

I am currently shutting down the Diary due to unforeseen familial commitments. More to come pending Daly’s round total.

Update: Daly shot 73, 73, 73, to finish the week at plus six, but happily noted that he was constantly followed by Razorback fans, smokers, and drinkers. Fact of the matter is that this guy stirs up what can be an otherwise stagnant PGA. Long live the Lion.

Sport is Life...

This little rant appears as a corollary to my summer of scandals piece. If you don't get the point that is OK, enjoy the humor. Try reading while slightly buzzed, cause that's how I wrote it. I will expand on the idea later.

"Still think you can beat Tiger?" Perhaps not Sabbatini. "Still think you can beat James Burnett?" Perhaps not world. What a week and a half it has been since my last post. So much an odd week that Ive begun to think that my life mirrors that which I see on ESPN. Tour de France ends...French girl I met while on steroids leaves for France (I'm kidding about the steroids). Tiger makes a comeback, perhaps I have as well (not on the steroids, but perhaps in the lady department). I realize how conceited that sounds, so like Bud Selig I will pretend to rescind my "Herculean" comments.

Like Michael Vick I punished my pet this week, minus the electro shock therapy and oxygen deprivation. My cat pissed on my shoes; I didn't let it outside. Fair comparison? I think so, sorry GiGi (my cat).

Barry...you're not the only one chasing/tying records. I may have had more drinks this week than maybe my drunkest week ever. Does this account for my lack of posts...maybe. Does my need to imbibe conflict with my need to cut the grass...YES. If cutting the grass equals Barry Bond's need to fess up, then you might as well call me Jerry Lamar Bonds. Get it? My name starts with a J. And oh yeah, my tolerance is rising faster than Selig's blood pressure. I cant wait for A-Rod to hit 800.

Point is limited reading base (all 10 of you), sport is still important to me. I know my last attempt at writing called out almost every league, and maybe I was on point, considering every sports outlet had their golden boys write similar articles. I am not bitter by the way, just glad I share GREAT IDEAS. Anybody can express anger as two suspicious characters reach milestones. Barry...congrats on 755. A-Rod...500 was overdue. Maybe I cheated on my Bio final in 10th grade. Who hasn't had a questionable take home test? We are all cheaters in some degree, and now we are seeing the fruits of our own indiscretions played out in the hallowed arena of baseball. But that is not all. Who wasn't aware of dog fighting? I watched The Wire and BET (not a shot at the channel just the videos featuring barking/fighting dogs...DMX) along with many other blue blooded Americans. It took Michael Vick for me to get really pissed. How many of the protestors in Atlanta protested dog fighting before Vick may or may not have been caught?

Truth is that we have more questions than answers in the sporting world, as well as the world at large. "Has Barry Bonds tarnished Hank Aaron's record?" asks ESPN. "Have I gained more weight this summer?" asks me. "Are we actually winning the war on terror?" asks Fox News hypothetically. No matter what the answers are, each question affects my life equally. The real question lies in which one matters the most in the metaphysical conundrum which is my existence. I havn't watched the news in some time, but I am fully aware that Brady Quinn is living up to the Notre Dame pretty boy stereotype as he requests more money than any 22nd pick ever. What does this fact say about me? I know Danica Patrick just barely missed her first win on the circuit, but I fail to realize the true implications of an electric vs. gas powered mower. But this is how sport becomes life. I relate more to the heroes of the game than I do with the people who are fighting in the "real" world, whether it be on a battlefield or a courtroom. Perhaps this comes off as preachy, and it probably is in many respects. However...the next time I yell at the TV when Barry Bonds hits a home run (every one past Hank Aaron's 755), I will begin thinking about the influence said homerun has on my being (0%), but really ponder how much I actually take it to heart. As Tiger Wood's becomes the "most now" on a station which seems to value ads more than achievement I think...This is sports...polarizing, angering, identifable, but surely not enough to make me break my new flat screen.

This is more of a ran than a real article...up next "Why Flight of the Conchords is the best show TV and how to improve the sports world in 7 steps."