Sport is Life...

This little rant appears as a corollary to my summer of scandals piece. If you don't get the point that is OK, enjoy the humor. Try reading while slightly buzzed, cause that's how I wrote it. I will expand on the idea later.

"Still think you can beat Tiger?" Perhaps not Sabbatini. "Still think you can beat James Burnett?" Perhaps not world. What a week and a half it has been since my last post. So much an odd week that Ive begun to think that my life mirrors that which I see on ESPN. Tour de France ends...French girl I met while on steroids leaves for France (I'm kidding about the steroids). Tiger makes a comeback, perhaps I have as well (not on the steroids, but perhaps in the lady department). I realize how conceited that sounds, so like Bud Selig I will pretend to rescind my "Herculean" comments.

Like Michael Vick I punished my pet this week, minus the electro shock therapy and oxygen deprivation. My cat pissed on my shoes; I didn't let it outside. Fair comparison? I think so, sorry GiGi (my cat).

Barry...you're not the only one chasing/tying records. I may have had more drinks this week than maybe my drunkest week ever. Does this account for my lack of posts...maybe. Does my need to imbibe conflict with my need to cut the grass...YES. If cutting the grass equals Barry Bond's need to fess up, then you might as well call me Jerry Lamar Bonds. Get it? My name starts with a J. And oh yeah, my tolerance is rising faster than Selig's blood pressure. I cant wait for A-Rod to hit 800.

Point is limited reading base (all 10 of you), sport is still important to me. I know my last attempt at writing called out almost every league, and maybe I was on point, considering every sports outlet had their golden boys write similar articles. I am not bitter by the way, just glad I share GREAT IDEAS. Anybody can express anger as two suspicious characters reach milestones. Barry...congrats on 755. A-Rod...500 was overdue. Maybe I cheated on my Bio final in 10th grade. Who hasn't had a questionable take home test? We are all cheaters in some degree, and now we are seeing the fruits of our own indiscretions played out in the hallowed arena of baseball. But that is not all. Who wasn't aware of dog fighting? I watched The Wire and BET (not a shot at the channel just the videos featuring barking/fighting dogs...DMX) along with many other blue blooded Americans. It took Michael Vick for me to get really pissed. How many of the protestors in Atlanta protested dog fighting before Vick may or may not have been caught?

Truth is that we have more questions than answers in the sporting world, as well as the world at large. "Has Barry Bonds tarnished Hank Aaron's record?" asks ESPN. "Have I gained more weight this summer?" asks me. "Are we actually winning the war on terror?" asks Fox News hypothetically. No matter what the answers are, each question affects my life equally. The real question lies in which one matters the most in the metaphysical conundrum which is my existence. I havn't watched the news in some time, but I am fully aware that Brady Quinn is living up to the Notre Dame pretty boy stereotype as he requests more money than any 22nd pick ever. What does this fact say about me? I know Danica Patrick just barely missed her first win on the circuit, but I fail to realize the true implications of an electric vs. gas powered mower. But this is how sport becomes life. I relate more to the heroes of the game than I do with the people who are fighting in the "real" world, whether it be on a battlefield or a courtroom. Perhaps this comes off as preachy, and it probably is in many respects. However...the next time I yell at the TV when Barry Bonds hits a home run (every one past Hank Aaron's 755), I will begin thinking about the influence said homerun has on my being (0%), but really ponder how much I actually take it to heart. As Tiger Wood's becomes the "most now" on a station which seems to value ads more than achievement I think...This is sports...polarizing, angering, identifable, but surely not enough to make me break my new flat screen.

This is more of a ran than a real article...up next "Why Flight of the Conchords is the best show TV and how to improve the sports world in 7 steps."