Summer Love...Scandalmakers Final Four

Summer of Scandals
Oh summer. Golden flowers, green grass, blue skies, cool water, and sports scandals. Maybe its the heat and humidity, but right now the sports scene in America looks more like the Thunderdome, "Two men enter, one man leaves". It’s a battle of scandals: steroids v. gambling v. crime in general v. a slew of wild cards. Welcome to the Summer of Scandals. As a sports fan I have been frustrated, wowed, and disappointed in this summer's offerings, and with the summer coming to a close, I find it appropriate to seed the Final Four as we prepare for upcoming seasons and playoffs. Who will be the winner (loser)? Let’s look at the tale of the tape.

#1 seed- The NBA. As if Yi's decision not to play in Milwaukee was not enough, it is coupled with a futile end to the playoffs (which included the horrifying Suns/Spurs series), players complaining as if it was there job (it actually may be Kobe Bryant's), unfulfilled trade rumors, Zach Randolph playing in New York, and oh yeah...GAMBLING BY REFS. This is a # 1 seed like Wooden's UCLA. Strong top to bottom and the NBA is looking very bottom heavy. First of all, I believe I speak for a nation of fans when I say I am tired of the flip flopping players complaining about their million dollar jobs. Is Kobe happy? is he leaving?....oh wait he makes millions playing a game he supposedly loves. Every league has annoying, whiny players, but how about playoffs where the two best teams play each other before the finals (Suns/Spurs). The Cavs were entertaining until everyone realized they were like Coach Bombay's Mighty Ducks playing Iceland for the first time, good story, but extremely outmatched. And then there is the gambling. So long Vegas All Star Weekend and any steps towards a Vegas NBA Franchise, hello scrutiny. The NBA's star player right now is Tim Donaghy, who is accused of betting on, and possibly fixing, games. Whoops, guess that slipped through the cracks of Sterns CIA, FBI, Homeland Security, and Nevada Gambling Commission connections. Did I mention this guy reffed game 3 of the aforementioned Suns/Spurs series, that he may have had a gambling problem, may have assaulted a neighbor, and was once pulled from the second round of the playoffs (2005)? Between long sighs and assertions that Donaghy was a rogue ref, Stern was able to state that this was an act of betrayal, and the worst situation he has experienced as a fan and as a comish. Yeah...it’s that bad. As a reborn NBA fan, I suddenly want to crawl back into the womb. This investigation will hopefully lead to a new NBA, a better system of evaluating refs, and therefore better reffing in general. The Charles Barkley seal of approval if one guy "Just lost his damned mind" wouldn't seem so bad. Worst case scenario, this is not an isolated incident and the NBA's system has failed. This is not a forgone conclusion, but I'm pretty suspicious. Worst summer for the league ever. Oh yeah, and Stephen Jackson FIRED A GUN outside of a night club. WOW.

#2 seed- The NFL. I live in Louisville, Ky, about an hour and a half from Cincinnati. Louisville is not a city known for gangs, but Cincinnati has one you may be familiar with: The Bengals. The 10 in season arrests of individuals such as Chris Henry, left a bad taste in the mouth of Bungle's nation and started a roller coaster ride of an off season. Queue the Pacman summer precursor as he "made it rain" in Vegas, during the NBA's All Star break no less. Pacman's summer has been filled with fun and excitement. Full season suspension. Check. Retracted Appeal. Check. Pulled over in an orange Italian sports car on which he had changed the plates. Check. Yet Pacman still has a contract and may come to training camp in the "zero tolerance" summer. Tank Johnson has not been as lucky (or unlucky...its a fine line). Gun possession prior to the Super Bowl, and a summer DUI stop, of which he was later acquitted, that led to his release from the Bears. Tank stands a good chance of being picked up as a free agent, despite an 8 game suspension. You have a better chance of seeing these players in a lineup than on a sideline. The NFL obviously has character issues, but players such as Pacman, Tank, and the Bungles starting offense, are characters, not stars. It’s not like a prominent star has been indicted for dog fighting right? Oh wait, Michael Vick just did. That's right, almost forgot about the quarterback of the future who has a better chance now of starring in a real life "The Longest Yard" than wearing a Falcons uniform. Everyone has heard about his connections to dog fighting, the pushed back release date of his Nike shoes, his possible leave of absence from the Falcons, and now the NFL's decision to keep him out of training camp which would have been a slap on the wrist if Arthur Blank had not asked for an execution/ 4 game suspension. However, thanks to the NBA playing spoiler, Roger Goodell no longer has to deal with the scrutiny which the NBA will receive over the next few weeks...months...years. There really needs to be a reality show following players such as Pacman, Tank, and Vick. We got an HBO show on the Kansas City Chiefs, why not an "OZ" styled show about the Bengals? The NFL is not in the clear, but hey, at least it’s not the NBA.

3 seed- Major League Baseball. Almost didn't make the Final Four due to a clean up act and a fan base's collective benefit of the doubt. However, this is still the steroid era. Perhaps the biggest story has been Bud Selig's non committal attitude as to whether he will attend Barry Bond's record breaking home run game. Sorry Bud, you can pretend it won't happen, but there is no quick fix like you found for the All Star game tie. The shadow of steroids will be cast longer than ever after Barroid breaks Aaron's record, and as we learned from Palmeiro, we can never rule out the possibility of steroid use, no matter what a player says. Jason Giambi also stepped in this summer, doing his best impression of Peyton Manning in the United Way SNL spoof. "Im not saying Id kill a snitch, Im not saying I havn't. You know what I mean." But such is Baseball right now. As long as no one steps forward, we will all be suspicious, but we will never prove a thing, and with Congress pushing back its investigatory timeline, no end is in site. Hence the three seed. In the MLB we have a steady performer, no big scandals to recruit, just a committed senior scandalmaker who is going to stay around for four years, make some runs at the finals, but never see the finish line. Some role players on the MLB scandal squad are F-Rod and his apparent penchant for "she-male, muscular type strippers" (hilarious), Dice-Pay (50 million just to speak through a translator), and a much scrutinized home run derby (look it up on ESPN.com). To me baseball is clean pending a urine test that we can't yet force upon them. Their scandal potential is very high, and I'm sure Bud Selig will be hearing from David Stern in the near future.

4 seed- The Field. This summer has also seen a number of smaller scandals. Most prominent was Gary Player's accusations of steroids in golf. Like most, my reaction was "Why?" I don't see the benefits of hitting the ball over the green, nor do any golfers look freakishly large. Case in point: John Daly. This guy can hit the "long ball" with the best of them, fueled only by Jim Beam, hooters wings and Marlboro Reds. J-Days body type obviously doesn't match Tiger's, but would you consider the face of 84 lumber to be on the same level athletically. Also, Sergio blew the British Open, boosting Guinness sales and destroying his confidence.
In Indy Racing, Danica Patrick hit a guy, some guys dad hit a guy, and Indy used the battles as marketing ploys. Smart...kindve. Scandalous...hardly. Mixed with the Earnhardt Jr. fallout with his deceased father's DEI, auto racing in general has tried to develop an edge with the mainstream media that was once only known among its extremely grassroots following. I currently don't want to mess with Tony Stewart, but for reasons much different than why I don't want to mess with Pacman Jones.
Other notable field players. Cycling's odd steroid stories (I'm looking at you Floyd Landis). Boxing is still boxing and will always be slightly terrifying. In competitive eating the Joey Chesnut vs. Kobayashi rivalry has heated up, which is not so much scandal as it, is weird in a summer that has defied conventions.

The ultimate summer loser has got to be the NBA. No upsets here. This gambling scandal is huge, and as David Stern "kindve" welcomes the FBI's investigation, so do I "kindve" welcome the upcoming season. What a strange summer.

This summer’s winner has got to be the MLS. As other Major Leagues try to out-implode each other, the MLS has started recruiting from the ranks of Europe. Say hello to David Beckham. Millions did for his Galaxy debut in LA. Red carpets, movie stars, models, Drew Carey. You name 'em, they probably watched. This couldn't have come at a better time. With the NBA scaring its fans off, the NFL having fans actually scared of their players, and MLB having fans who are scared all the allegations may be true, the MLS stands to directly benefit. The MLS is a clean league, no steroids, a relatively low amount of overpaid stars, a big enough fan base to profit every year, a grassroots following of the game, and a low enough profile to avoid dangerous gambling interest. Scandals are low, and with the advent of Beckham mania, potential for growth is high. The MLS is the college going, army enlisted, Michael Corleone of the first "Godfather" film. They are making money without entering the mainstream, avoiding scandal, and enjoying a prosperous and safe life. Here's hoping, that unlike Michael, the MLS stays in school and avoids its gambling, crime faring brothers. I give the the MLS a 1 seed in the NIT (Not In Trouble) tournament. As for the NHL...sorry guys, no berth this year. Maybe in Canada.